21 May 2020, Paris, France
This time, it's over 100% for me!
Home is where my heart beats. And I'm building my own ♡home♡ with the one that I long to be with.
***
People are curious about at what time I go to bed and how long I spend sleeping each day. Idk myself either. I no longer know myself. I've been changing so much.
I stay awake to finish all unfinished businesses and now I've got insomnia for months... almost a year.
I've just read a heartfelt post in a group of Vietnamese overseas citizens, though accidentally, it seems to be another coincidence, an omen.
I'm not the only one struggling with what I'm doing and what I'm trying to do, what I want to do and what I'm capable of doing...
Staying or going back, especially during this historic pandemic, and so many other factors to consider, so many risks to take, and so many consequences to accept, etc. etc. etc.
I find myself in some corners of each of their stories. It makes me feel less lonely but it is not enough... for what that I don't know. It's all my feelings.
I am thankful for the care and advices from everyone, either friends or strangers. And I know that I am responsible for my own decisions and life.
"Where I belong, I'm getting strong. There is a place where I belong" - Jascha Richter, Where I Belong.
***
Since I was a kid, my father had taught me to do everything following my mind and not my heart, including loving. Oh father, that's why you're never happy. It's your home there, not mine.
I'm your daughter, I'm not you!
Forgive me! I'm following my heart then and now. I feel happy with my stupid decisions.
Scientifically, when the brain strikes, human still survive and some may regain their consciousness, rarely though. But when the heart strikes, they die, truly.
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